[Alexander Moss]
"When I ripped my pants,
I thought that I had everybody on my side;
But I went and blew it all sky high,
And now she won't even spare a passing glance
All just because I ripped my pants!"

[The Anachronisms]
When Big Larry came 'round just to put him down
Alex turned into a clown
And no girl ever wants to dance
With a fool who went and ripped his pants

[Alexander Moss]
I know I shouldn't mope around
I shouldn't curse
But the pain feels so much worse
'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun
Than a burn from the sun
Or sand in your buns

[Alexander Moss & The Anachronisms]
Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget
(fool ripped his pants)
So listen and you won't regret
Be true to yourself
(fool)
Don't miss your chance
(who ripped his pants)
And you won't end up like the fool who ripped his pants!
(fool who ripped his pants)

[Larry the Lobster]
"Alex, that was so righteous!"
"That was literally the best thing I heard in my entire life"
'Revolutionary"
"This is what I've been waiting for all along"
"This song just saved my life!"

[The Anachronisms]
Sand in your buns
A burn from the sun
Sand in your buns!

[Larry the Lobster]
"Will you sign my pants?"